Day 8 - Dan Nang'it!

So, the wildness that was Vietnam is almost impossible to recount in words. After the typhoon, we lost a full day, and our trip was cut to a mere 8 hours. This sorta stunk, but I can honestly say that it was the craziest whilrwind tour I have ever done. We landed in Da Nang, and a group of my gals and I grabbed a taxi and headed for Hoi An, just outside Da Nang proper. I think the day is best recounted with quotes:

Getting a taxi
"We need taxi for Hoi An.
"$40."
"$40 too much. We give you $5."
"No, no, too little, Hoi An far, $40."
"No. We walk."
"Okay, okay, $30, best deal."
"There are four of us, we give you $5 each."
"No, no, it take 40 minutes. $30."
"No, we walk."
"Okay, okay, $50 round trip."
"$50 whole day, anywhere we want to go."
"Hmmm..."
"Okay, we walk."
"Okay, okay, $50, whole day, anywhere you want."

In the taxi
"Oh, my, god! Did you see how we almost hit that guy? I could've picked his pocket!"

In the taylor's
"Take pants off."
"You want me to take my pants off? Here"
"Yes, why not?"
"We're in the middle of the store."
"Okay, okay, no problem. You stand here and take pants off."

While walking down the street
"How much did you spend?"
"I spent about $100."
"What did you buy?"
"I had 4 shirts, three skirts, two suits and a jacket custom made."
"Wow...all I got was this, and I don't even like it."

At lunch
"Do you think these smoothies are safe?"
"Why wouldn't they be?"
"What if they are made with tap water? We could get food poisoning."
"I am sure they boiled the water."
"All I know is that if I don't poop soon, I am going to be pissed."

Midaftrenoon at a restaurant
"Can I have a beer?"
"Sure. Which you like."
"Actually, could I get that to go?"
"You want a beer to go?"
"Yes."
"Hmm...I guess you could use plastic cup."
"That would be fine. Oh, and could I have a straw?"
"A straw?"
"Yes."
"Ummm...okay..."

In the taxi
"Hey let me take a picture of you guys in the back seat."
"AHHHH!!! Get your eyes back on the road!!!!"

At China Beach
"Can I take your picture?"
"Yes."
"You know, she is poverty. Please buy. Happy hour special, two for three."
"Oh, no thank you."
"You like the tiger."
"I don't have any money."
"You have some money. And if you have some tiger, you have luck and money find you."
"Really, no thank you."
"Where you from."
"America"
"America, land of free, home of tiger."
"Sorry, no"
and on and on and on...

Back at the taylor's
"What are you wearing?"
"A dress."
"Where are you going?"
"Why, you don't like it."
"Well..."
"I am getting L's opinon."
{walks out of store into middle of street with prom dress on}
"LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllllllllllllllllllllllllll..." (shouts)
"Oh my god, what are you wearing?"
"What?"
"See...I told you."