Day 18 - In the Buff
So, I woke up this morning fully aware that it is no longer my birthday, but I was still feeling generous with myself so I decided to book a massage at the hotel. I was terribly excited, as I had never had an ayurveda massage before and I was really looking forward to really relaxing. It ended up being...hmm...more adventurous then I would have liked.
So...I walked into this really nice room with this waterfall contraption along one wall and a beautiful Indian woman in a brilliant orange sari. The table was in the middle of the room, but it was unlike any massage table I had ever seen before. For one thing it was completely uncovered, no towels, no sheets, no nothing. For another thing it was leather. You know, like that plastic leather they use to make sofas out of that your legs stick to in the summer.
Anyway I get in there and the woman tells me to go change in a small room off of the room I am in. I walk in there and immediately notice a lack of any kind of robe or towel. I have had shiatsu massages in Japan where you are supposed to stay fully dressed or wear pajama-like outfits, but there was nothing of the sort. So, I popped my head out and said there weren't any towels. She said, "No, no towels, free."
"Excuse me?"
"Free," she repeated with a sweeping gesture across her body.
Hmmm...surely she is joking...
"Naked?"
"You will wear this." At this point she pulls out what could only be described as a long strip of toilet paper attached to a string, and I am thinking...no f'ing way...
Seeing the look of shock on my face she said, "Don't worry, I help."
WHAT!!??!?!!
So, there I was, in the little room, completely in the nude and let her dress me in this...cloth? rope? I don't know...whatever it was, it left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
A little nervous she led me out to the room and instructed me to lie on the table on my back. "On my back?"
"Yes"
"Really?"
"Yes"
At this point I was beginning to feel a uncomfortable, and just when I was looking for the cameras in the room she removed the little diaper thingy, and begin to apply nearly an entire bottle of oil all over my body. Literally. She had opened a new bottle and by the end I was as slippery as a fish, and sliding all over the now explained leather table. Then she flipped me over and did the same thing to the other side.
From this point forward, it was definitely a massage, though not like one I had ever experienced before. Let's just say that she was completely indiscriminate about where she rubbed, and with my new found slick coating...well...yes...let the mind wander if you will.
I had paid for an hour long massage and an oil drip, and it wasn't until the second half hour that I had actually relaxed enough to enjoy the massage. The first half hour I kept waiting for somoene to burst in or something to go really badly wrong. But nothing did...it was just very different.
After the massage I had an oil drip. Basically there was a bucket over my head with a small hole in it. The bucket was filled with warm oil, and for a half hour the oil drizzled onto my forehead and seeped into my scalp. It was a different sensation. I don't know if I would use the word relaxing, but it was not unpleasant.
Finally I went back into the small room. The woman had put me back in the toilet paper contraption (what on earth was the point?) and I was instructed to take a shower. At this point I was so drenched in oil I no longer felt human. When I looked in the mirror I realized that the oil had a brownish tint to it, and I looked like I got a streaky tan all over my body.
While in the shower the woman came in without knocking and I pulled the shower curtain to my body as though I had any secrets left from her. She smiled at my modesty, and left me a towel (yay!).
After 3 showers my hair still felt really...textured, but my body felt surprisingly at peace. All of my muscles felt like jello. It was nice. I just wish someone had warned me what I was in for. As it turns out, some of my friends had almost exactly the same experience and felt equally as uncomfortable. I am inclined to believe that this is just a culture difference in India, but part of me wonders if this is just some joke they play on foreigners...of course it isn't...it was just an interesting experience.
So...I walked into this really nice room with this waterfall contraption along one wall and a beautiful Indian woman in a brilliant orange sari. The table was in the middle of the room, but it was unlike any massage table I had ever seen before. For one thing it was completely uncovered, no towels, no sheets, no nothing. For another thing it was leather. You know, like that plastic leather they use to make sofas out of that your legs stick to in the summer.
Anyway I get in there and the woman tells me to go change in a small room off of the room I am in. I walk in there and immediately notice a lack of any kind of robe or towel. I have had shiatsu massages in Japan where you are supposed to stay fully dressed or wear pajama-like outfits, but there was nothing of the sort. So, I popped my head out and said there weren't any towels. She said, "No, no towels, free."
"Excuse me?"
"Free," she repeated with a sweeping gesture across her body.
Hmmm...surely she is joking...
"Naked?"
"You will wear this." At this point she pulls out what could only be described as a long strip of toilet paper attached to a string, and I am thinking...no f'ing way...
Seeing the look of shock on my face she said, "Don't worry, I help."
WHAT!!??!?!!
So, there I was, in the little room, completely in the nude and let her dress me in this...cloth? rope? I don't know...whatever it was, it left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
A little nervous she led me out to the room and instructed me to lie on the table on my back. "On my back?"
"Yes"
"Really?"
"Yes"
At this point I was beginning to feel a uncomfortable, and just when I was looking for the cameras in the room she removed the little diaper thingy, and begin to apply nearly an entire bottle of oil all over my body. Literally. She had opened a new bottle and by the end I was as slippery as a fish, and sliding all over the now explained leather table. Then she flipped me over and did the same thing to the other side.
From this point forward, it was definitely a massage, though not like one I had ever experienced before. Let's just say that she was completely indiscriminate about where she rubbed, and with my new found slick coating...well...yes...let the mind wander if you will.
I had paid for an hour long massage and an oil drip, and it wasn't until the second half hour that I had actually relaxed enough to enjoy the massage. The first half hour I kept waiting for somoene to burst in or something to go really badly wrong. But nothing did...it was just very different.
After the massage I had an oil drip. Basically there was a bucket over my head with a small hole in it. The bucket was filled with warm oil, and for a half hour the oil drizzled onto my forehead and seeped into my scalp. It was a different sensation. I don't know if I would use the word relaxing, but it was not unpleasant.
Finally I went back into the small room. The woman had put me back in the toilet paper contraption (what on earth was the point?) and I was instructed to take a shower. At this point I was so drenched in oil I no longer felt human. When I looked in the mirror I realized that the oil had a brownish tint to it, and I looked like I got a streaky tan all over my body.
While in the shower the woman came in without knocking and I pulled the shower curtain to my body as though I had any secrets left from her. She smiled at my modesty, and left me a towel (yay!).
After 3 showers my hair still felt really...textured, but my body felt surprisingly at peace. All of my muscles felt like jello. It was nice. I just wish someone had warned me what I was in for. As it turns out, some of my friends had almost exactly the same experience and felt equally as uncomfortable. I am inclined to believe that this is just a culture difference in India, but part of me wonders if this is just some joke they play on foreigners...of course it isn't...it was just an interesting experience.
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