Despite My Best Efforts

So, a couple weeks ago our new school was finished being built and we got to move into the HUGE new school. For the new school, all sorts of publicity and hype was being created, and they had decided EVERYTHING would be in Japanese AND English. WOOHOO! A giant leap for Japanese mentality!

This being the case, my teachers consulted me about the translation and naming of many things: Language Lab, Food Storage Room vs Cafeteria, Sick Bay vs Nurse's Office, and most importantly, the school motto. They were planning to have a huge banner made for the new school, and as everything else in the school is in Japanese and English, they thought the slogan should be in Japanese and English as well.

I looked at their proposal, chuckled to myself, then explained that it really was not a very good slogan in English. The English was awkward, and it had an unintended meaning.

So, I pulled out my thesaurus, and gave them at least 20-30 alternative slogans. I was coming up with some great stuff, but, no, they didn't listen to me...and it wasn't until Bellish pointed out the ridiculous, 3 feet by 12 feet banner, that I noticed they had gone ahead with their direct translation of the Japanese slogan....sigh...so now, everyday I get to walk pass this:

Life on Another Planet

So, our new school is finally built and finished, and there are a lot of great things about it. It’s spacious, the kids have lockers, we have central heating (THANK GOD!), there is an elevator, each subject has its own classroom—as opposed to teachers circulating into the homeroom—and in general, its not too bad a place to work.

A new school, however, is a lot like I imagine a new house would be. It still has its quirks, and every five minutes we are calling the construction workers, electricians and plumbers back to fix something. For example, while we have central heating, it works everywhere except the teacher’s office. So, that must be fixed. The internet works everywhere except the computer lab. The building has no hot water anywhere. There are no heated toilet seats. There is no furniture (desks, chairs, chalkboards, nothing) on the third floor. And most importantly, the new school is impossible to find, and takes forever to get to.

The 10 year plan.

• We started with a high school two years ago, then opened a junior high within the high school, making for a very crowded school.
• This year, the new junior high school and the biggest gym you have ever seen.
• The junior high will share this gym with the high school.
• Over the next year the old gym will be torn down.
• The following four years, the new high school will be built where the gym stood.
• When the high school is built, the high school students will move into the new high school and the next year will be spent tearing down the old high school and a new gym will be built in its place for 3 more years.
• Once the gym is built, we will be a revolutionary new joint junior high/high school that will turn out the best and brightest students in the world...or so the theory goes.

How does this affect my commute in school? Well, all this construction has paid a toll of convenience. Here is what I have to do to get from my locker, where my shoes MUST be changed, to my office, in the junior high.

• Exit high school staff locker room.
• Walk 99 paces , down the hall and through the students lockers.
• Take three steps outside.Go down three stairs.
• Take three steps to get inside temporary, pre-built, aluminum hallway.
• Walk 105 paces through the hallway.
• Take three steps outside.
• Go down three stairs.
• Take eight steps across the uncovered space between buildings.
• Go down nine stairs, under gymnasium (still outside).
• Walk nine paces.
• Open heavy, invisible iron door.
• Walk three paces into gym locker room entryway.
• Go down one stair.
• Walk eight paces through locker room entryway.
• Go up twenty steps.
• Walk four paces.
• Go up thirteen stairs.
• Walk 78 paces past the biggest gym ever.

And now, finally, I am in the junior high school.

From here everything is relatively convenient, but if I, say, forget my lunch in my locker, or suddenly need my coat because the heat doesn’t work in the staff room again...life stinks. Also, I still regularly have to go back to the high school because some classes are still held there, and it is the only place I can get internet access.

Sigh...I feel like I am on another planet.

While I Was Dying

Note: Every time the phone rang, I was, without fail, asleep.

Monday, 9:57 am

RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!...

Me: {croaks} Hello?
Prefectural Assistant (PA): Hey, how's it going? You're work said you were home sick today?
Me: Yes...sick.
PA: Man, a lot of people are home sick today!
Me: Uh, huh...
PA: So I was wondering, I know you applied for a transfer, but you haven't submit your recontracting form yet. Do you plan on recontracting?
Me: The deadline isn't for a week.
PA: Well, yes, that is true, but we are trying to place people, and it would really help if you could tell us if you were planning to stay around or not. No sense in holding open a spot if you weren't planning to stick around, know what I mean?
Me: Uh, huh...well I haven't decided yet...do you need to know right this second?
PA: Well, technically you don't have to decide for a week, but maybe you could tell us which way you were leaning?
Me: Well, right now I am leaning towards sleep...could I get back to you when I get back to school?
PA: Sure, and hey, the sooner the better!
Me: Uh, huh. Bye...
PA: Bye


Tuesday, 10:12 am

RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!...

Me: Hello?
PA: Hey, it's me again. How are you feeling today?
Me: Like dying...
PA: Oh, that's too bad sweetie. I hope you feel better soon.
Me: Uh, huh. Thanks.
PA: So, I know you are not back at school, but I was wondering if you had had the chance to think about whether you were going to recontract or not?
Me: Hmmm???
PA: Re-con-tract. Are you going to stick around for a third year?
Me: What day is it?
PA: Tuesday.
Me: Oh, the deadline is still next Monday, right?
PA: Yes, but we are trying to place transfers, and I am just wondering if you are still interested in your first choice school, or if you were going to go home after this year.
Me: I still haven't decided. I have been sleeping since yesterday.
PA: Oh, I see. Well, do you have an idea when you'll know?
Me: Well, before Monday at the latest...
PA: Right...well, as I mentioned there are other people who need placing, so we want to get on that as soon as possible.
Me: Uh, huh...
PA: So, the sooner, the better.
Me: Gotcha.
PA: Well, just give me a call as soon as you decide.
Me: Will do
PA: I hope you feel better soon!
Me: Me too.
PA: Bye then

Click...ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....


Wednesday, 11:22 am

RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!...

Me: Hello?
PA: Ah, still home sick, huh?
Me: Yes
PA: Did I catch you sleeping again?
Me: Uh, huh
PA: Sorry about that.
Me: Uh, huh
PA: So, we are getting close to that deadline. Have you give staying a third year any thought?
Me: No
PA: So you aren't going to stay?
Me: I don't know
PA: But you just said you haven't thought about it.
Me: That's right
PA: So you are going home?
Me: I don't know
PA: Huh?
Me: I haven't left my bed, eaten anything, or gotten up to do anything more than go to the bathroom. I have slept 22 hours a day for three days, now. I have not thought about staying or leaving Japan.
PA: Oh, right. Well, we are still waiting on you to make decisions about where to place people.
Me: Uh, huh. Well, is there anyone else who wants my first choice?
PA: Well there are many people who want to move into the city, and there aren't a lot of positions opening up.
Me: Uh, huh. Well, will five days make any difference either way?
PA: Well, the people here at the office would really like to finalize placements as soon as possible.
Me: I understand, but I don't have an answer to give you at this time, and I still have a couple more days.
PA: All right, well just get back to me as soon as you decide anything.
Me: I will call you the moment I know.
PA: Will you at least be going to school tomorrow?
Me: Even if I felt better, they don't want me back at school until Friday?
PA: Why
Me: I have the flu
PA: Ah, right, the four day rule
Me: Yep
PA: Right, well, I hope you feel better.
Me: Thank you, Bye.
PA: Bye

Click...ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...


Thursday 3:15 pm

RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!...

Me: Hello?
PA: Hey, you feeling better?
Me: A little, I am awake at least.
PA: That's good. So, you have had some time to think about staying in Japan?
Me: Yes, but I still haven't decided. Do you really need to know RIGHT NOW? I was looking forward to taking the weekend to decide.
PA: Well, you do have the right to wait until Monday, but it would help a lot if you could tell me even which way you were leaving so that if you thought you were going I could put someone else at your top choice.
Me: Doesn't sound like that would benefit me much.
PA: So you are staying?
Me: I don't know.
PA: I see. But if you were going, I could put someone else there, and then the school and the person would know and could start making plans.
Me: The job wouldn't even start until August!
PA: I know, but you know, just to get things started.
Me: It's only February.
PA: Yes, but it's February in Japan.
Me: Uh, huh. But it will still be February on Monday.
PA: Yes, but it would really help to get this done, so we could move onto other things.
Me: Well, you will be the first person to know when I decide. I promise.
PA: I see. Well, any idea when that will be?
Me: No later than Monday.
PA: Uh, huh. Well, give me a call.
Me: Will do.
PA: Bye.
Me: Bye.

Click


Friday, 4:00 am

PA: {croaks} Hello?
Me: Hi, oh I am sorry, did I wake you?
PA: A little, what's up, is everything okay?
Me: Ya, just wanted to let you know that I decided that I am not going to recontract for next year.
PA: Huh?
Me: I am not staying for a third year.
PA: Oh, right, so you decided?
Me: Yes.
PA: For sure?
Me: Yes.
PA: What time is it?
Me: Four in the morning.
PA: Oh, well, thanks for getting back to me.
Me: Just wanted to make sure you were the first to know.
PA: Uh, huh.
Me: Well, I guess I better let you get back to sleep.
PA: Uh, huh. Thanks...
Me: Glad I could help. Bye.
PA: Bye...

Click

The Phenomenal Flu

Okay, so after my rant on the Japanese and their sheer terror of the flu I am incredibly embarrassed to write this, but it definitely warrants attention, so here we go.

It started on Saturday. I had signed up for an all-inclusive trip tour of the ever exciting Nanao (think Castroville or other very small, unheard of coastal city), and I was very excited. In addition to trying my hand at making Japanese sweets, going to a pottery class, touring a sake brewery, shucking oysters, and dining at local hot spots, we were going to stay at the famous Kagaya Resort in Wakura.

Kagaya, for those of you who aren't aware, is THE place to stay in Japan. Rated number one in customer service for over 10 years by the travel and tourism industry, Kagaya is where the Royal Family stay when vacationing, and indeed they have their own private suite that sits atop the hotel as though their house fell out of the sky and landed on the building. Nestled on the shore of The Sea of Japan, Kagaya boasts some of the most beautiful views, as well as luxurious onsens (public baths). Six of the 263 suites have private onsens on their terraces, and the staff to guest ratio is always a comfortable 1:2. AMAZING!

Needless to say, I was very much looking forward to this indulgence. Regular room rates start at $420 per night PER PERSON, and our entire tour (food, transport, other activities, overnight stay, unlimited access to the onsen, and much more) was a mere $200.

So, Saturday morning I woke up, and with a slight headache, I began my journey north. By midday day, however, at the sake brewery I was barely able to keep my head up. I felt ill at the idea of the free tasting of the sake, and by the time we were to make the sweets, I could feel my breakfast making its way back up the way it came.

When it was time for the afternoon walking tour of the shopping district, I could barely move. It felt like my sternum had cracked and was splintering into my chestevery timee I took a breath. The idea of trying to stand, let alone walk was so overwhelming, that I opted to sleep on the bus. But it was too late. After getting on the bus I had reached the point of fever, and though I was well over 100 degrees, I could not get warm. I was shivering despite my several layers of clothing, bus heating, sitting in the sunshine, and balling up like aroly-polyy bug.

When the others came back from the walking tour, the longest two hours of my life, we headed to the hotel. I had anticipated this visit so much, I feigned wellness, claiming the “nap” had really helped. The staff their wesuperberb. Four our group of 20 ish, there were four ish women who catered directly to us. In full kimono, they carried our ridiculously heavy bags into the hotel, escorted us to our rooms, made two kinds of specialty green tea for us, measured us for our own yukatas (like a bathrobe, except Japanese style), and helped us in every way imaginable. I think we had 4-5 rooms, with 4-5 people in each, and each room had it’s own kimono-clad woman attending to our every need. I had thought they were merely the greeters, but these women stayed with us throughout our entire stay; past midnight when we up late drinking, and early in the morning to prepare and serve our breakfast. It was service unimaginable to western society.

By the time I got to the room I was completely knackered. All I wanted to do was go to bed, but I was convinced that a nice dip in the onsen would do me good, so off I went. Now, I am not really an onsen girl. Try though I might, I just don't do public nudity or communal showering. Somehow, it just feels wrong. But this was an experience like no other. The place was immaculate. Each showering station had its own set of custom soaps, shampoos, and any other bathing necessities, and each was different. There were several bathing pools, inside and out. There was a sitting area where there were free massage chairs, a television, and lounges. There were private beauty stations, fully stocked with tissues, cotton balls, blow dryers, q-tips, beregimenimine products, and different lighting options. Fluffy white towels, and women who lined up your shoes. It was a relaxation paradise. I know I am not doing it justice, and I have long since wished I could take pictures of an onsen, but with all the nakedness, it has never felt appropriate. But, believe me, it was great!

My friends were right, I did feel a bit better after the onsen. Despite the fatigue, and inhalation problems, I finally properlyerlly warm.

After bathing was dinner. At least 20 different dishes prepared with finesse, all you could drink (I hated being sick...missing out on nomihodai (all you can drink alcohol) is the worst!), a Chinese performer, and as always, our entourage of women. The dinner lasted a good three hours, and was everything you would expect from its reputation. The best and freshest crab I have ever eaten, in what seemed unlimited quantities. Freshly made tofu, sashimi, sea urchin, steak, matcha ice cream, wild fruits, a feast for all.

At the end of dinner, however, I was done...caput, obsolete. I literally stumbled up to bed, half dragged by my friends, laid down, and was not heard of again for 12 hours. Many people stayed up and partied, indeed as I would have if I could move, but me, I took NyQuil, and zonked out.

In the morning I felt, if possible, worse. It seemed my sternum had healed, but I had a terrible headache, a painful cough, and a fever that made me feel like the center of the sun. The idea of eating the most beautiful breakfast I had ever seenappallinglling. I stared at it, willing myself to eat, but to no avail. I went back to the onsen, then ditched the tour of the hotel in favor of more sleep. Oyster shucking was a blur. I skipped lunch as well. In fact, I know there was a Sunday, but I only remember pain.

By the time I got back to Kanazawa, I thought I was going to die. I laid down and didn't move again for 5 days. I won't gross you out with the details, but it was bad, and for the first time since I came to Japan, my school told me NOT to come to school...

A Sign

With only days left until the recontracting deadline, I am constantly finding myself looking for a sign. A sign that I should leave, or a sign that I should stay. Something to tell me what to do with my life. This morning, while perusing the morning headlines, I found a sign. While I don't know if it is the kind of sign I am looking for, it is definitely a sign that I have been in Japan for longer than I thought. Whether today, or merely the recent past, the 78th Academy Awards released this years' nominees. I am the kind of person that normally throws Academy Awards parties, complete with ballots, fancy dress, and runway critiques, so naturally I was mildly excited. Much to my surprise and slight horror however, after scanning the list I realized I not only haven't seen ANY of the nominees, I have only heard of the nominations for Best Animated Film.

Why is the Mountain's Back Broken? Who Constantly has to Garden? What Crashed? When did Heath Ledger learn how to act? Oh, so out of the loop!

The part the is most mind-boggling to me is I can't tell if it is a good thing or a bad thing to be so far removed from American pop culture. I mean, how can this have happened? Have I really been gone that long?

not one....????