The Joys of Teaching English

With every new school year comes new students, new teachers, and inevitably, new textbooks. After a preliminary glance at the new san-nensei (9th grade) textbooks, I am less than excited about the material I will teach...

Here is one of the stories that I will get to read, teach, explain and in all likelihood, act out this year (as is):

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf

Spring came. Freddie, the Leaf, was born on a branch of a tall tree

Hundreds of leaves were born on the tree. They were all friends. Together
they danced in the breeze and played in the sun.

Daniel was the largest leaf and Freddie's best friend. He knew many things.
He explained that they were part of a tree in a park. He also explained about
the birds, the sun, and the moon.

Freddie loved being a leaf. Summer was especially nice. Many people came to
the park.

"Let's get together and give them some shade," said Daniel. "Giving shade
is part of our purpose in life. Making people happy is a good reason for
living."

Old people sat under the tree and talked of old times. Children ran around
and laughed. It was fun to watch those children.

Summer passed and fall came.

Soon the leaves changed their colors. Some turned red and others turned
yellow. Freddie turned purple. They were all very beautiful.

One day a strange thing happened. Some of the leaves were blown off be a
strong cold wind. The leaves became frightened. "What's happening?" they
said?

"It's the time for leaves to change their home," Daniel said. "Some people
call it dying."

"Will we all die?" Freddie asked.

"Yes," Daniel answered. "Everything dies."

"I won't die!" said Freddie.

But shis friends started to fall one after another. Soon the tree was
almost bare.

"I'm afraid of dying," Freddie told Daniel.

"We're all afraid of things we don't know," Daniel said. "But you were not
afraid when spring became summer, or when summer became fall. Changes are
natural."

"Will we return in spring?" Freddie asked.

"I don't know, but Life will. Life lasts forever and we're part of it,"
answered Daniel.

"We only fall and die. Why are we here?" Freddie asked again.

"Daniel said, "For the friends, the sun and the shade. Remember the breeze,
the people, and the colors in fall. Isn' that enough?"

That afternoon, Daniel fell with a smile. Freddie was the only leaf left on
his branch.

The first snow fell the next morning.

The wind came and took Freddie from his branch. It did not hurt at
all.

As he fell, he saw the whole tree for the first time. He remembered
Daniel's words, "Life lasts forever."

Freddie landed on the soft snow. He closed his eyes and went to
sleep.

He did not know this. But, in the tree and in the ground, there were
already plans for new leaves in spring.

The end

Don't Japanese People Get Mail?

From time to time, people back home send me packages and without fail the post office attempts delivery while I am at school resulting in an "Undeliverable Item Notice." This was the case last Friday as well. When the postal worker tried to deliver my package I wasn't home, so, he left a handy-dandy note that allows me to mark a couple boxes and have it delivered whenever I want.

As far as I can tell, these notices are pretty standard. I have received over a dozen of them over the last two years for both national and international packages, and they are actually quite intuitive to fill out. The jist of the note are a bunch of boxes indicating when delivery was first attempted and instructions on how to obtain your package namely using an automated telphone service to reschedule delivery. This is fine. I can work out all of the kanji, mostly because there could be only one possible answer, and also because it is the worlds easiest kanji (like the first 20 you learn).

So, I filled in all the boxes. Now, here comes the tricky part. The actual problem lies in the actual telephone call. While the Post Office automated lady speaks clearly, she used the polite tense which I do not understand and I have to confirm my choices by pressing odd numbers like 7 or star or 6...

In fear that my package will end up in Guam or something I hand my dutifully filled out Undeliverable Item Notice to one of my JTEs and ask very politely if they will dial the toll free number for me and enter the numbers I have recorded in the provided boxes.

Now, although this happens at least once a month, and despite the fact that these forms are the furthest thing from unusual, EVERYTIME my JTE looks at the notice blankly as though it is written in French. So, I repeat my request, "I received a package yesterday, but wasn't home to sign for it. Would you please call to have a rescheduled delivery?"

Again...crickets...the JTE is dumbfounded. With some persuassion, finally the JTE gets it, but rather than calling the number and entering the digits, the JTE translates the form to me, "Oh, this says here that you recieved a package."
"Yes, I want it to be delivered again."
"In order for it to be delivered again you need to fill out tis card and call this number."
"Yes, I filled it out...look here..."
"This is asking when you would like it to be delivered."
"Yes, I want it delivered on this date."

And so on, and so on until the JTE is satsified that all 8 boxes have been apprpriately translated. Then the JTE said, "You need to call this number and enter this information."
"Yes, but, I don't understand the Japanese on the phone, would you mind calling for me?"
"Oh, I see. Would you like me to call for you?"

By now a good 7-10 minutes have passed and I am so frustrated I could scream. I politely say yes and then go back to my seat while the JTE dials away.

THEN, once the JTE hangs up they bring me back the card, "Oh, I called this number."
"Thank you."
"It seems that this package had attempted delivery last Friday but you were unavailable."
"Yes, I know."
"So, the delivery has been rescheduled to this evening."
"Thank you for calling."
"The package will arrive between 5 and seven this evening."
"Oh, good. That's what I requested."
"Yes, so would you please make sure you are home at that time. A package from America will be delvered this evening between 5 and 7."

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yes, I will make sure I am home at that time."

Good God! I totally get now why things take so long to say in Japanese. Apparently you have to repeat the situation at least three times to confirm and you must make it sound like you are offering to do something instead of having something requested of you...